Tag Archives: book promotion

Pirates, Ahoy!

Many thanks to my hosts at the Children’s Literature Centre at Frostburg, Maryland for inviting me to present at their annual Pirates In The Park festival. I had a fantastic time! I read from Eve Bunting’s P Is For Pirate. The kids had me paint a parrot who is a pirate on a treasure chest in a pirate ship reading a treasure map. Whew! https://www.frostburg.edu/childrens-literature-centre/pirates.php

You can still buy an autographed copy of P Is For Pirate at Main Street Books. I signed copies of some other titles, too. https://www.downtownfrostburg.com/business/main-street-books/

My baby sister made me this pirate rig in one afternoon!

My clever audience came up with their own Pirate ABC! They told me the A, B & C pirate words to draw.

Dr Ornstein took all the great photos shown here. Thanks, Barbara!

We have a winner!



The big moment is here! Last week we announced our contest for funniest caption for this cartoon. Every caption we received was hilarious and I’m grateful to all of you who participated. Seriously. I was afraid I’d have to write a bunch of gags and submit them over fake names. Here are your submissions:

From Ilene:

Man: “Ooh, classy vase, dear!”
Woman: Yes, isn’t it? And NO, we are not putting it in the Vomitorium!

From JK:

He: I’ve got this urning, urning, yearning feelin’ inside me
Ooh, deep inside me, and it hurts so bad.
She: Olive me, why not take Olive me?

Three from Jim F:

Her: Look what Achilles just brought us from Athens!
Him: Well, it’s beautiful, but beware of Greeks bearing gifts.

Him: Very nice. Did you buy that in Rome?
Her: No, the legionnaires took it as booty when they captured Athens. They called it a vase-ectomy!

Him: Why do all of the Greek soldiers have beards?
Her: It’s obvious! The vase was made by a hairy potter.

Here’s one from Maddie:

Him: That’s nice.
Her: Use the one your mom sent.

Nathan submitted this one:

Him: I have no problem with your mother’s remains going on the mantle, I just don’t understand why the cremation urn is so big?
Her: Who said she was cremated?!

And so, after carefully reviewing all the entries, after agonized hours of deliberation, our panel of joke experts—Liz, Roxie and Gus—have rendered up a decision. And the winner of the funniest caption is…



…Nathan H! Congratulations! This crudely-drawn sketch will be winging its way to you soon.

Thanks, everybody, for your entries. I love you weirdos. Tell me if you didn’t receive your postcards.

Back to the beginning of The Western Civ User’s Guide to Reading & Writing.